“The very essence of leadership is that you have to have vision. You can’t blow an uncertain trumpet.” – Theodore M. Hesburgh
This quote speaks volumes to us about our role in home. We cannot provide a vibrant home with outstanding leadership, creating outstanding leaders, without a vision.
Do you know how you want your home to look? Dysfunctional? Constrained? Or naturally holistic in its love for one another? All these have a commonality: leadership, or lack thereof. Each of us knows of a family that can fit into a category, and let me say this, “normal” is not a category. You are an individual – and so are the members of your family.
No family is meant to be dysfunctional. Not trying to play the guilt game, but it really does boil down to consistent genuine and loving servant leadership in the home – providing consistent vision in your leadership. When I reflect on leaders, where the relationship is genuine and has a strong foundation built on trust, the common denominator is that the leader is consistent in their behavior and, in turn, so are the ones they are leading. Children crave consistency. Most often, this consistency is all that is needed. They will begin to submit themselves to a genuine loving leadership.
The most critical part of leadership is being present. Yes, I am going there! You cannot be a leader without being present. That means playing an active role in your child’s life. You simply cannot be too busy to be a leader in your family. Leading from a far always leads to massive course corrections, and those never lend themselves to happy situations.
As a father, husband, and leader in our home, I am mindful of my role. I am aware that my words and actions matter. It is essential that I think, speak, and act accordingly. If I do not make a conscious decision to be a leader at home, it is highly unlikely that I can even pretend to be a leader elsewhere. As a leader of ourselves and within our homes, we must continually strive to improve. A life of learning, listening, and reflection protects us from egocentricity, insouciance, and anxiety that constricts our growth and keeps us from transitioning the life-learned lessons within the home to external worlds – where we can be of useful service to our families, and others.
May God lead us all to a greater understanding of parenting. My child is a product of my parenting.