The Mommy Chronicles: As the Baby Gets Older, Let Your Marriage Grow Warmer

Marlena Rice is a busy mom and writer who lives in Tuscaloosa with her husband, Rod, and their son, Beaux William. Her new book, “Pacifiers, Flatbeds and Barn Wood Thingamajigs, a ‘Come to Jesus Guide’ for the New, Southern Mom,” will be available on Amazon.com soon.  Marlena Rice is a busy mom and writer who lives in Tuscaloosa with her husband, Rod, and their son, Beaux William. Her new book, “Pacifiers, Flatbeds and Barn Wood Thingamajigs, a ‘Come to Jesus Guide’ for the New, Southern Mom,” will be available on Amazon.com soon.  Marlena Rice

I was in shock. He had just pulled away from me, and the words, as cute as they sounded in his three-year-old voice, broke my heart. “Stop mama, get away.”

What?! What did my son mean, “get away?” What does that even mean?! Heartbroken, I pretended I was okay. But, being the “Smother Mother” my husband says I am, I gave things another shot. I covered my eyes, made my shoulders shake, and I fake cried. 

I know what you’re thinking, and guess what? #idontcare. I am obviously in the process of raising a little gentleman because my sweet baby rushed over, put his arms around my neck, and gave me the kiss I wanted. Mission accomplished. Or was it? While this was happening, my husband watched us, and I imagined him thinking, “Why does she go all in for the baby, and never for me?”

Truthfully, I have no answer to this. However, I do know that while I don’t want to miss a moment of my son’s growing up, I also want to take advantage of every opportunity to show my husband that he is special too. How can young moms make sure that while we are doting on our children, we don’t neglect our husbands? Here are some ideas …

  • Do small things he’ll appreciate. If he’s a car junkie, tell him about a cool sports car you saw on the road coming home from work. If you are not an early bird and he usually wakes up first, surprise him one morning with a special breakfast.
  • Schedule a weekly date night. You schedule everything else in your life. Make this date night a priority as well.
  • Touch him more. Hold hands, give more hugs, or cuddle while watching your favorite Monday night lineup. 
  • Incorporate pet names again. Sometimes in the shuffle of life we find ourselves “talking at” our husbands instead of “talking to.” Instead of starting a sentence with “Hey” or “I need,” try something a little different.
  • Create a couple’s bucket list. Instead of cliff jumping, make the activities simple things you can do close to home and together. Wine tasting or a couple’s cooking class could be romantic (it always works on TV).
  • Be intentional with the things you think and say, and how you act around your husband. You don’t have much alone time. Make it count.
  • Be physical together. Find new walking trails, or take a jog together before or after work. You can learn how to be each other’s encourager and support system in a new way.
  • Make yourself unavailable sometimes. Spend time with your girlfriends, or take time out to do something you like to do by yourself. This will give him time to miss you, while giving him time to appreciate you being independent. 

 

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Marlena Rice

Marlena Rice is a busy mom and writer who lives in Tuscaloosa with her husband, Rod, and their son, Beaux William. Her new book, “Pacifiers, Flatbeds and Barn Wood Thingamajigs, a ‘Come to Jesus Guide’ for the New, Southern Mom,” will be available on Amazon.com soon. 

Website: www.linkedin.com/in/marlena-rice-37975b40

Druid City Living (DCL) is Tuscaloosa, Alabama's premier community newspaper, covering the great people, places and activities of the area.

 

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